Why I Removed My Implants

Let’s talk boobies. They come in all shapes and sizes. But for some reason, after breastfeeding two babies, I felt mine needed an upgrade. I never had the perfect perky boobies you see in the movies. Judging myself against those images, I decided I came up short. So soon as I was done breastfeeding, I opted for implants.

Let me start by saying that I realize plastic surgery is controversial. I am also a really private person.  Sharing this with all of you is definitely not easy. I choose to tell my story because I found comfort in others who were willing to be open with their experience. The goal is to pay it forward as those women did for me. My experience is my own. I don’t profess to be an expert or look to pass judgment on anyone for their decisions.

Be Kind

Telling my story is not easy. If you have something helpful to say, then, by all means, I look forward to speaking with you. But if you are reading with judgment, please just move on. This is me at my most vulnerable, and I hope you will treat me with kindness.

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My Thoughts on Plastic Surgery

I had no idea plastic surgery was controversial until I had it. When I told a close friend what I had done, she commented, “It is just a sign you have low self-esteem.”  That really shook me. Someone close to me made a really harsh assumption because of my implants.

Do women who get implants have self-esteem issues? Maybe some do. But the reason women have plastic surgery is more nuanced than categorizing it as a self-image problem. Did I have insecurities about my breasts? Absolutely. Did my insecurity delve into full-blown low self-esteem? No. It did not. In fact, after having two children and breastfeeding them each for a year, I was pretty amazed by what my body was capable of. I just wasn’t excited about how ‘the girls’ looked after all that amazement.

Why I Got Breast Implants

Breastfeeding definitely did a number on my boobs. They were never perky before children, but with the weight gain in pregnancy, the two years of breastfeeding, I would have to pick them up and stuff them in my bra.  So I consulted with several doctors and decided on Silicone 350cc under the muscle with a lift.

The doctor told me at my consultation that implants are not a lifetime device.  Implants are meant to last 12-15 years and eventually would need to be replaced. I remember taking the information in but not really registering it. It meant at least one additional surgery in my lifetime. I told the doctor I wanted to be a full C cup. When all was said and done, my breasts looked just like the pictures I gave the doctor but now I was a 34DD or a surgeon’s C. I was happy with how they looked.

Why I Wanted Them Out

Shortly after my surgery, I noticed my hair was shedding. I don’t have a lot of hair, so it really concerned me to lose any at all. I chalked it up to the fact I had two surgeries in a month’s time. Almost one month to the day that I had implant surgery, my appendix almost ruptured, and I had emergency surgery to remove it. It was definitely a lot of strain on my body in a short period.

Fast forward to the last few years, my hair loss became more extreme, and the hair that I did have seemed more damaged than before. I visited a doctor who told me, “not to worry because most people would be happy to have as much hair”. That didn’t stop my worry! I started researching on the internet regarding hair loss. Of course, hormones and age play a factor but often, articles referenced hair loss due to breast implants.

At 49, I started this blog, and as a result, I take a lot of pictures of myself. Looking at those photos, I was shocked by the size of my breasts. Over the last 14 years, I have definitely put on some pounds, but it seems like more than a few ended up in my boobs. ‘The girls’ were ridiculously large. I found myself not posting certain photos because my breasts seemed too prominent and too oversized (See photo above).

Breast Implant Illness

I began researching breast explant surgery, and again references to hair loss came up. I began to delve deeper into the side effects of silicone implants. Doctors have categorized the myriad of symptoms under the name BII or Breast Implant Illness. The list of possible symptoms is long and scary!

Ultimately I found my way to a Facebook group called Breast Implant Illness and Healing by Nicole. In this group, over 100k women share their experience with BII and its debilitating symptoms. Women are offered support and suggestions for the best surgeons who understand BII. The list of symptoms is daunting and extensive. You can see the full list here.

My Symptoms

Besides hair loss/dry hair, I have other symptoms on the list, including muscle pain and weakness, joint pain, a decline in vision, vertigo, headaches, throat clearing, and IBS. Here’s the thing- I am not convinced any of these symptoms are directly linked to my implants. I do, however, trust that all of these women believe their implants negatively impacted their health. Many women give testimonies that their symptoms have diminished or disappeared after explant. BII is well documented and only recently become more recognized by doctors. So many women cannot be wrong.

During my research, it became clear that it is not a matter of if you will experience BII symptoms but when. The women in the group who seem the sickest fall into two main categories: 1. Women who get ill immediately after implant. 2. Women who become ill after replacing their implants. Of course, many in the group just have symptoms build over time, but those who seem the most gravely ill seem to fall into these two categories. But eventually, it appears anyone with implants will suffer negative effects. You can have BII symptoms with both silicone and saline implants.

Not If, But When

Maybe I don’t suffer now, but I began to wonder when it might hit me too? The longer the implants remain, the more likely the chance of illness. Knowing that my implants weren’t meant to be a lifetime device, the fact that the implants were approaching 14 years old, and having just turned fifty, I figured now was the best time to remove my implants. I consulted the list of doctors recommended by healingbreastimplantillness.com and scheduled my date for March 3, 2020.*

En Bloc Surgery / Capsulectomy

There are two types of surgeries to remove implants.  After implantation, the body creates a capsule or scar tissue that surrounds the breast implant. BII sufferers strongly recommend an En Bloc/Capsulectomy when removing your implants. During the En Bloc procedure, the surgeon removes the implant and capsule as one piece. This is the best way to ensure that no silicone has been left in your body.

The procedure is more invasive, especially if you have implants under the muscle, as they must open up your muscle and scrap the capsule from your rib cage. Because the procedure is more intensive, surgeons often place drains to remove the fluid that could build up in the resulting pocket. If you suspect you have BII, this is the preferred method of removal. The cost is approx $2k higher than a regular capsulectomy.

My Choice Capsulectomy

I opted for a straight Capsulectomy. With this surgery, the surgeon removes the capsule and implant, but the capsule is removed in pieces. My surgeon assured me he would remove as much of the capsule as possible. There is a possibility that some of the capsule would be left behind (trace amounts). Because I don’t feel I have BII, I was fine with this option. My goal was to get the almost outdated implants out and hopefully end up a more realistic size. My surgeon recommended a lift after years of carrying the large implants around.

Deciding to explant was not easy. My boobs still looked good. I didn’t need to wear a bra, and I liked how they filled out my bathing suit. I wondered if I was making a horrible mistake. What if my hair doesn’t improve? What if my belly is bigger than my breasts? I worried about all of these things and much more. In the end, I decided to go forward with surgery because I knew eventually I had to have them removed or replaced, and having elective surgery while younger than older seemed like a smart choice.

Surgery

My explant surgery was performed in a surgery center not far from my house. The explant is done under general anesthesia, so the actual surgery is a breeze (at least from my under anesthesia perspective). I recovered at home, and honestly, I felt the explant was not as painful as when I had the implant put in. Both times I had a lift, but the primary pain with the implant was the stretching of the muscle. My body was clearly happy to be rid of those heavy implants, and my overall pain was minimal.

For three months, I could not lift anything over 10-15 lbs, and I found walking my dogs, who love to pull uncomfortable. But life pretty much returned to normal after a few days.

One Year Update

I first wrote this post a few weeks after my explant. My surgery was on March 3rd, one year ago today, and on March 13th, all hell broke loose. The reality of Covid caught up with us all. Schools closed, and we were ordered to stay home. The anxiety the uncertainty caused left me overwhelmed. The idea of putting this very personal post out there was just too much. I placed it on the shelf to collect dust.

As the anniversary of my explant arrives, I feel compelled to do what I set out to do. I want to pay it forward for other women considering implants or explant. The truth is I don’t spend a lot of time in regret. I don’t regret getting implants. They were a part of me for many years. I also don’t regret getting them removed. It was the right decision for me.

Sure, I miss some of my old size, especially the volume on top, which is only achievable by implants. I am a small 34C now.  But I don’t miss the headaches, back and joint pain, throat clearing, and fatigue. All of these things have either improved significantly or disappeared. Overall, I just feel healthier. My hair seems to be the last to recover. I only recently started to feel like it is improving. Of course, it is a fight against a normal part of aging. My goal was to stop the exaggerated aging of my hair, not return my hair to my 20s.

Removing my implants was the best decision for me. I feel happier, healthier and my clothes fit so much better.  I no longer have to size up in tops just to accommodate my ample bosom. My sweaters don’t rub at my arm, causing pilling as they did in the past. I don’t have to worry about every outfit being too boobalicious for my taste.

After a year, I can return to wearing an underwire bra if I want to, but I don’t really need to because of the lift. I am looking forward to shopping for some pretty bras now that I have completely healed. In the meantime, I have been wearing the Calvin Klein Wire-Free Bra. It is so comfortable I often end up wearing it to bed accidentally.

Last Thoughts

One last time for the people in the back. Posting something so personal is not easy.  Anyone who reveals personal stories online is opening themselves up for judgment. I hope you consider this before commenting negatively.

What you won’t find here is any judgment from me. I believe 100% that a women’s body is autonomous. It is up to her what she does with it. Get implants. Don’t get implants. Explant or replace. Just don’t judge others for their decisions. I always believe unless you walk a mile in someone’s shoes, you should not judge them. And as every mother in the world says, “if you don’t have something nice to say. Don’t say anything at all”.

I am completely willing to answer all of your questions regarding explant and my decision. If you think you have BII, I suggest you seek out the group I mentioned above. You will find thousands of women who are willing to help.

I would love it if you followed me on Instagram for my everyday outfits or on Pinterest for my fashion inspiration. StyleDahlia is a fashion and lifestyle website with a modern take on midlife. We hope to inspire you to step out of your comfort zone, try new things, and live your life in full bloom.

*My doctor is no longer on the recommended list. The list contains doctors who recognize BII as a real condition and remove implants only by en bloc procedure.