Fashion Lessons from my MIL

You read that right. I learned many lessons from MIL and not in the “let me teach you a thing or two” kinda way. I was blessed with the best MIL in the world. Unfortunately, her life was cut short by cancer but I am grateful for the years we had together. God knew that I needed a good mother figure in my life. My relationship with my own mother was tenuous at best. Sue Sue, as my MIL liked to be called, was a gift of meeting and marrying my husband. 

 

Lucky DIL

She was a beautiful example of unconditional love. Everyone who met her and was blessed to know her loved her dearly. She was just a special kind of lady with her own unique sense of style. I will never forget the first time I met her. It was Easter and my then boyfriend, Kent, brought me to meet his mother who he clearly adored. We would celebrate the holiday at his brother’s home with his 3 yr old son. 

Kent reminded me that jeans would not be appropriate which I found somewhat bemusing as he had never before given me any fashion direction and he certainly knew that I would not roll up in jeans and a tee. Knowing him now, I realize it was just a nervous reaction to the enormity of the event. He had not brought a girl to meet his mom in a long time.

When we arrived, he introduced me to his brother, his sister-in-law and tiny nephew who was frantically running around the house looking for Easter eggs. He then introduced me to this gorgeous women dressed in full Stevie Nicks attire down to the floppy boho hat.

He casually introduced me to Susan leaving out the fact that she was his mother. She looked far too young to have a child of 30. I figured she was a close family friend or other relative. Later, he sat on the arm of her chair hugged her and kissed her head. Only then did I realize this stunning women, must be his mom.

Of course, I immediately racked my brain to make sure I hadn’t said anything wildly inappropriate. There had been some questionable conversation about the nature of the Easter egg hunt which included an empty egg to represent the empty tomb and an egg with a plastic crown of thorns. Luckily, the majority of the comments came directly from Kent and his brother. I was in the clear.

The next time I saw Susan, she was dressed in leather looking leggings and a fur vest. She enjoyed fashion and played with her look often. 

Not Enough Time

My husband and I were married fifteen years when she suddenly was diagnosed and died of cancer within a five week span. We were blessed to have her live with us during that time. Four years later, it is still shocking that just six weeks before her death, we all zip lined together on our family vacation in Costa Rica.

Sue Sue was a true gem. A gift to the world and when she left it, she left it just a little bit dimmer. She was 100% unique just like her fashion sense but somehow 100% relatable, real and loved by all.

I was truly blessed to have her as a MIL. She was a devoted parent and phenomenal grandmother. Over the years she spent countless hours with our family and I honestly loved every minute of it, not in a waxing nostalgic way, but in a true and whole hearted way.

Over the years, I learned many things from her about who I want to be but also about fashion. Being a fashion blogger, I thought I would share some of the fashion lessons I learned from her. 

 

Fashion Lessons From Sue Sue

1. Wear what YOU love! It truly doesn’t matter what is in fashion. Wear what you like. When you love your clothes you wear them with confidence and that confidence goes with you into the world. Sue Sue was always up on the latest trends. We both love to follow fashion but she always wore what made her feel best. That may mean a full Stevie Nicks ensemble one day and head to toe denim ala Brittney Spears and Justin Timberlake at the 2001 American Music Awards the next.
2. Jewelry More is Better – Sue Sue loved jewelry. She had over 500 rings and countless bracelets and watches. She enjoyed mixing and matching her pieces to create new and interesting looks. One day she would have on her turquoise necklace, bracelet and ring with her cowboy boots and the next she would do all modern with wired magnetic pieces and her favorite booties. Of course, she had her favorites which she wore in heavy rotation but for nights out and events she loved to mix it up. It was a great conversation starter. People always wanted to know where she found her jewelry. Jewelry is an exclamation point to an outfit and she used it to make a point.
3. Boots Go with Everything – My MIL loved boots. She had literal cold feet so she would wear boots even in summer. She loved cowboy boots, booties and every type of UGG boot. She would wear them with dresses, shorts and pants. She and I both shared the belief that comfort is key when deciding on shoes. Unfortunately, she and I were different sizes so I didn’t get to share shoes with her very often.
4. A Good Handbag is Key – Sue Sue loved handbags. In fact, her collection was so extensive she displayed them on the walls in her bedroom. She had few designer bags (she loved Balenciaga) but most were fashion purses she fancied when shopping. She loved to pick up jewelry and bags on her travels. She loved to travel and traveled all over the world. 
5.  Get in the Damn Picture – Unfortunately, this lesson was learned in hindsight and really isn’t applied solely to fashion. As I as researching photos for this article, I sifted through over 10,000 photos and though Sue Sue was a constant presence in our life, she didn’t like photos of herself, and therefore is in only in a handful of shots from across the years. The thought of this brings me to tears. She was incredibly important to us all and she is so underrepresented in our photos. My kids were 10 and 12 when she died. I hope they continue to remember her as always there for us. They both know how much she loved them and they will carry this with them forever. There just isn’t much visual representation of her presence in our lives. 

Live Life to the Fullest

Susan was the most incredible human being. Of course, the lessons she taught me extend far beyond fashion.  She was my first example of true unconditional maternal love. When she was diagnosed with cancer she was given a very short time to live. The cancer had spread from the original source to her bones, lungs and liver.  We spent the last weeks of her life talking and sharing memories. When she died, she had no regrets. She had lived life, traveled, followed her passions and given it her all. Of course, she would have liked more time but she was at peace that she had done all she wanted to do and loved with all her heart. 

In many ways, all these years later, she is the reason I had the courage to start this blog at almost fifty. I want to get to the end of my days having lived like my MIL, with passion, curiosity and love.